happy birthday baby d!

a year ago i was in a hospital bed so very very tired, listening to beeps and chatter from the hallway and the breathing of a new baby boy. i remember that night so clearly as if it was last night. i laid in bed alone with my sweet boy next to me. i remember the tears coming and not being able to control them. overwhelmed with joy, relief, exhaustion, hormones and missing my other two. i promised myself that i would be a better mom, that i would look after my family better. i told my father in heaven i was thankful for my life, for my blessings and for the sweet babies he has sent me. i snuggled that little person as much as i could and held him so close, those hours are so fleeting and i needed to soak in every second. i still feel that way, that i need to soak in every second with my dylan. he is so amazing. he is calm, content and an absolute joy to have around. the kids love him and i just want to eat him up all the time! i wanted to do something special for him on his special day but i couldn't decide what "special" meant to a one year old. what we ended up doing kind of just fell into my lap and it was "special." i decided on a walk around the loop. he loves to be outside and to recline in his stroller. he sucks his binki and loves on his soft blankie and every now and then looks up at me through the small window in the stroller shade and gives me his big goofy toothy grin. i was about half way into my walk when i heard my name. my trainer was running with some other people we train with and they had recognized me. we ran to the park together and they invited me to join a yoga class they were doing. i looked down at my sleeping boy and decided to join in. a little while into the warm up, d woke up and decided he wanted to practice his down dog as well. i rolled out a mat next to mine, handed him my phone and car keys and we had a great time. he would roll under me when i was up and then coming down on top of him he would giggle and laugh. he ate some grass and got a little wet from the ground but all in all it was a fantastic time. his favorite moment was when i was in childs pose and he "got" me. full grabbing of my hair and loving on my face. the world was in perfect alignment, once again, and i felt so much peace and love and recognition of my blessings. this little boy has been such a blessing. and as georgia would say, i love him too much! (instead of so much!) and once again i find myself promising to be a better mom, cherishing the time i have with my children and thanking my heavenly father for my blessings. thank you dylan for sharing today with me, for accepting me as your mother and for blessing our family with you! you are a special boy and i can't wait to see what this next year brings!