its over, sigh

i walked into my spooky front entry, turned off my battery powered candles in my candelabras and looked at all of my halloweened house. the pumpkin glowing, the crow watching the children eat their candy, the skulls looking on so ghoulishly, the orange candles and black spiders sitting on my grandmother's buffet. oh, how i love a good halloween and yes, my friends, this was a good one. yummy homemade soups. so many friends and great family. yummy treats. perfect temperature for a sweatshirt and flip flops. dancing tinkerbell. sleepy owl. crazy ninja. and the contentment of having pulled off another fiesta without a hitch. too bad we have to wait so long for halloween. have a spooky night.

overwhelmed? understatement!

usually i feel behind in tasks around the house. i tend to concentrate on the more important things like kissing dylan, watching georgia "do" stuff and running andrew all over town to soccer and basketball. and, i let things fall by the wayside. lets just say i usually feel like i'm treading water for an analogy. my head's above the water but at any time i could go under! then came september, october, four birthdays and now a baptism. i haven't seen the floor in my closet for some time now, due to laundry. i call our spare bedroom my "hoarding" room because it is the place where i put things so i can "do it later." and, guess what. it's later. i am overwhelmed and now i've plunged under the water and i'm not sure where to start or when i'm going to get another breath. granted, we did have the carpets cleaned and that would explain the dora kitchen in my bathtub and the toy baskets in my closet but really, the problem is much deeper than that! so this weekend i'm taking on the insurmountable task of the hoarding room, the toy baskets and, gulp, the laundry. good thing soccer and bball have been cancelled saturday and, thank heaven for eric who entertained the children while i folded my closet floor worth of laundry! only 3 more loads! oh, wait, i am starting to feel that breath of air. hopefully, if my laundry doesn't kill me, i'll be back in the familiar treading water stage of my life soon enough.

is it fall?

i am finding myself day dreaming about fall. cool, crisp mornings, trips up the canyon to eat apple raisin and walnut oatmeal, crunching leaves underfoot and sitting in the warm sun watching leaves trickle down from the trees. big billowing clouds with afternoon showers and the faint smell of fireplace smoke in the air. i have a new pair of boots i have been needing to wear. sweaters that are begging to be dusted off and worn and scarves aching to get out. but alas, my body is sore from a workout yesterday morning where i proceeded to sweat like a man in a tank top and shorts. and it was 7am. not conducive to my day dreaming.

happy birthday baby d!

a year ago i was in a hospital bed so very very tired, listening to beeps and chatter from the hallway and the breathing of a new baby boy. i remember that night so clearly as if it was last night. i laid in bed alone with my sweet boy next to me. i remember the tears coming and not being able to control them. overwhelmed with joy, relief, exhaustion, hormones and missing my other two. i promised myself that i would be a better mom, that i would look after my family better. i told my father in heaven i was thankful for my life, for my blessings and for the sweet babies he has sent me. i snuggled that little person as much as i could and held him so close, those hours are so fleeting and i needed to soak in every second. i still feel that way, that i need to soak in every second with my dylan. he is so amazing. he is calm, content and an absolute joy to have around. the kids love him and i just want to eat him up all the time! i wanted to do something special for him on his special day but i couldn't decide what "special" meant to a one year old. what we ended up doing kind of just fell into my lap and it was "special." i decided on a walk around the loop. he loves to be outside and to recline in his stroller. he sucks his binki and loves on his soft blankie and every now and then looks up at me through the small window in the stroller shade and gives me his big goofy toothy grin. i was about half way into my walk when i heard my name. my trainer was running with some other people we train with and they had recognized me. we ran to the park together and they invited me to join a yoga class they were doing. i looked down at my sleeping boy and decided to join in. a little while into the warm up, d woke up and decided he wanted to practice his down dog as well. i rolled out a mat next to mine, handed him my phone and car keys and we had a great time. he would roll under me when i was up and then coming down on top of him he would giggle and laugh. he ate some grass and got a little wet from the ground but all in all it was a fantastic time. his favorite moment was when i was in childs pose and he "got" me. full grabbing of my hair and loving on my face. the world was in perfect alignment, once again, and i felt so much peace and love and recognition of my blessings. this little boy has been such a blessing. and as georgia would say, i love him too much! (instead of so much!) and once again i find myself promising to be a better mom, cherishing the time i have with my children and thanking my heavenly father for my blessings. thank you dylan for sharing today with me, for accepting me as your mother and for blessing our family with you! you are a special boy and i can't wait to see what this next year brings!

lemonade, cookies and shoes

im in love with my kids. well, at least at this moment! they are tucked in bed, breathing deeply, safe under their light weight blankets. each of them brings such a different personality to our family. crazy, crazier and just plain edible. and probably in that order. i took them all to the mall yesterday. i know, who's the crazy one? well, they come by it honestly, i guess. but, anyway, as you can imagine things only went swimmingly for about five minutes and then all you fill in the blank broke loose and i had strollers being pushed into displays, necklaces being tried on and a baby who was crying because his teeth decided to come in this week. needless to say i was stressed! but, i needed my kids there. i tried to buy them shoes to no avail and then don't get me on the pants i tried to buy. these kids have had major growth spurts this summer and i've got my sizes all wrong. so, after the shoe department, pants trying on and a salesperson who was a little confused about what she was doing, i finally looked at andrew (who was riding the stroller into the cashiers station at this point) and exasperatedly stated you're giving me hives! apparently this was hilarious and started andrew in a giggle. georgia heard the commotion and had to stop trying on hair bows to come see what was so funny and couldn't figure out what hives were but still started giggling and then at that minute i realized it was going to be ok and started giggling too. baby crying and all. so we walked over to the cafe for lunch where we indulged in the yummiest cookies and lemonade which pleased the punch out of my little ones! as we were wrapping it up, a woman from the table next to me caught my eye and was clearly holding in a chuckle. yes, just what i needed, more people to watch my small circus. she commented on my kids and shared with me that her third put her over the edge. i was a little taken aback by her comment. it was made with such an understanding, i've been there tone, i couldn't have taken offense to it but, it made me think. here i was, braving the insanity of shopping with children, trying to get them to try on shoes, eat and stop goofing around all the while i forgot to breathe, to take it in and realize what a funny time we were having. im sure the woman at the next table had a story to tell that evening to her dinner partner about the crazy stressed out young mother with three kids, a stroller, seven shopping bags, a diaper bag the size of texas and two helium balloons hermetically sealed to the handle of said stroller. well, all's well that ends well! and with the remains of chocolate chips on our lips we headed towards the elevator just like a parade, balloons and all. so, how do you end such a lovely outing? well you stop by dads office where you pillage his change collection and buy orange fanta because, apparently, lemonade and cookies were not quite enough to fill the sugar quota for the day!

it seems when there is so much going on there is nothing to write about. my creative side has fallen asleep. or melted. whatever would be happening in 111 degree weather. seriously. we were gone for the whole month of june, literally. i spent some quality time in so cal on the beach, i watched my kids play on the beach and remembered how my sister fed me sand when i was dylans age and how no one needs to help him, i celebrated eric's birthday and hit nordstrom with him, i watched jealously has the husband ran the wasatch back, i looked on helpless as a helicopter flew my father in law to safety, i loved on my babies as much as i could, i got thrown up on, i took a stay cation to lake las vegas, i caught a nasty summer cold, and then i finally came home to basketball camp, swim lessons, ballet and tap classes, basketball team practices and spanish camp. whoever said summer was relaxing? i remember being sooo bored during summer vacation. so far we haven't had a spare minute to be bored! i guess things could be worse... i could be somewhere very very cold. oh, and andrew got a mohawk from his hairdresser today. got to take a picture, it reminds me of his 'do when he was a baby!

sand in my ears

today i took andrew to a follow up appointment at the ent doctor. andrew indeed has a broken nose, his septum is crooked but nothing to worry about and apparently he has gravel in his ears. hmm. maybe that's why he doesn't hear me until i am yelling? probably not. he gained his gravel this passed weekend at the beach. poor kid took a rough spill in the surf. funny though, he kept telling me there was sand in his ears. maybe i should have listened? maybe i have gravel in my ears too?! anyway, we had a good laugh about him having his ears full of sand and then he looked at me and quite worried asked me how it was going to come out. the good doctor stepped in and reminded him that it would work its way out eventually and to not stick anything in his ears to fish it out. thanks doctor, with this kid you don't know what would happen! random story, i know, i just got a kick out of it!

pretty little boy

at least once every time i am out and about with dylan he is mistaken for a little girl. nope, doesn't matter that his blanket has blue spots or that his binki has dinosaurs on it, people think he is just too pretty to be a stinky little boy! maybe it's the lash extensions we put on him (the kid has some serious lashes!) maybe its the mohawk he was born with that has turned into a nice comb - over or maybe its his mesmerizing eyes which can't decide what color to be (his left is more gray, his right is more blue!) but, he is quite a looker and i'm ok with onlookers commenting on what a pretty baby i have! with this back ground, dylans nana day has threatened to dress him up in a pink ruffly something and tie his hair with a pink hair bow. so, nana day, this picture is for you! courtesy of georgia's collection of hair bows! oh, and don't tell the husband, he thinks i'm giving dylan a complex!

lovely lips

today georgia earned a prize from the treasure box at ms. karens preschool. bet you can't guess what it was! and, thanks to georgia's persistent nature, i got in on the action as well! i love this little girl!

andrew

this pic was taken at the beach last fall you can just read his mind... really? the day is really over? i can't be at the beach anymore? my little beach bum!

andrew has grown. no, seriously grown, like seven inches overnight. (maybe that's exaggerated but i think you get the point!) i keep finding out just how much he has grown every time he ventures down the stairs with a non-school outfit on. those shorts that fit him in the fall are about mid thigh now and watch out for the t-shirt sleeves hitting him just below the shoulder! (once again, a little bit of exaggeration!) so, i hired my trusted babysitter last saturday and went shopping. no. luck. none. anywhere. the problem i'm finding is that little mr. andrew has not only grown physically, he has grown mentally and now, as my nephew in law (is that what you call your niece's husband?)  says, he's got a serious swagger! so, my favorite places to shop for him are not quite right, and the few shops that carry the styles he likes have a very limited selection in size skinny and tall. but, most days around here, he opts for his basketball shorts a too small t-shirt, his volcom flat brimmed hat with some sanuks on his feet. eric says we're doing him an injustice by living in a land locked state. i would have to agree. any time we spend at the beach, he's in the water boogie boarding, throwing a football around with eric or begging us to stop shopping so he can get a tan. yes, last time at the beach he actually refused to put his t-shirt on at lunch because he said he was working on his tan. he's a total beach bum and apparently needs to dress the part. so today i made pass number two on the shopping. again, no luck. so i've been searching the web and guess what! they actually have the sizes i need in the styles andrew and his blonde shaggy locks agree on! so, welcome to the world of online shopping, once again. now if i could just get eric to agree to let me put it all on is credit card...

today i sat on the stand at church in my regular spot, hiding behind the piano and organ, appearing when the music began and disappearing once it ended. i love this calling. i love catching the eye of friends who make me smile. i love watching families arrive together i love watching my friends with their families, i love watching the primary kids copy my movements and get embarrassed when i smile at them. and, most of all i love watching my husband with my babies. today georgia sat on his lap, snuggled in close with her soft and bo. andrew was on his right side snuggled in, coloring in his star wars activity book. dylan was asleep in the aisle in his car seat. what a sweet picture i have in my mind from today. i don't know how to even express the emotions that swelled up in my mommy heart but i was totally overcome. it's a powerful thing, this family business. we started as young sweethearts, madly in love with each other with huge dreams and empty wallets. slowly that love grew and we added so much of our dreams to our reality. we added one tiny person, then another and now our third. while our wallets aren't much fuller, (thanks in part to three rapidly growing children) our home is and our hearts are. a young couple blessed their baby boy today, they named him andrew. this took me back eight years to a snowy morning in utah. i remembered blessing our andrew, how it seemed like such a miracle, this little tiny baby, that he was really ours. i watched him today, from behind the piano, he's turned out to be such a handsome boy. full of joy and energy topped off with a faux-hawk. (he made me do his hair that way today)   i can't believe he will be baptised this year. and that sassy georgia, what can i say, she has stolen our hearts. and i can't wait to see what our laid back go with the flow dylan has in store for us. what a gift to be a mother, to have a beautiful family and to have so much love around me. there are a few snapshots of life i carry with me, this will always be there, in my mind. a father and his three babies, snuggled together on a church bench. maybe next time i could come out from hiding behind the organ and piano to join them. hmm, maybe not, then i'd have to play finger puppets and color star wars guys and search for binkis for dylan.

georgia's vice

you know we all have one, georgia's just happens to be sugar. not just any sugar, the marshmallows from the lucky charms box. she begs daily and nightly for this sweet little fix and this morning she found the box all by herself and i walked in just in time to have her turn and say the shmeshmellows are all gone!

getting ready for easter

found this little hat at target today, couldn't resist! and yes, i love to kiss on those cheeks all day!

trapped

do you ever sit and wonder about life around you moving on? i mean in a strange and foreign way that as you sit inside the four protective walls of your home that life goes on? hmm, i suppose this thought would seem odd if you had not been on my sofa with me for the past few days. this thought has haunted me as i have been tending to sick babies. three of them, all at the same time, crammed on the couch coughing, sneezing, sniffing and wheezing all over me. don't get me wrong, i love to cuddle, hold and make feel better but we have had so much of it this year it's becoming quite ridiculous. with andrew in school full day and georgia at preschool we have liquidated our savings and have opened a walgreens on our kitchen counter. well, maybe that was a little exaggerated but, you get the point. it surprises me when friends are out and about, grocery shopping, having lunch and not wiping noses, holding sad feverish babies and measuring out yellow cough syrup. i am so looking forward to this winter season being taken over by spring. to allow warm breezes in through open windows, let my kids run around barefoot and breathe warm air deep into their weakened lungs. countless doctors visits, a few specialists lined up and a 3 am hospital visit have trapped me in my home. there is a rumor the sun will shine on this rain soaked desert this weekend and my heart is full of hope that a warm breeze might take away some of this sickness, and some of my cabin fever. either that or i'm going to have to look into tenting the house and lysol bombs.

it has been a lifetime ago since i last pressed the "new post" button. or, at least it seems that way to me. i guess you could say life has been a whirlwind. not a scary tornado where everything is chaos, just a happy whirlwind in which everything i was used to was turned upside down and mixed into something completely different. different meaning i can't find where i left my brain, my organization button or the part of me that can handle anything past 6 pm. for instance, my day started at 5am when dylan (oh, that's another story - where we came up with that name) decided to gag, cough and spit up all of his yummy milk. all. over. the. place. so a nice cleanup took place in the morning light and just as i snuggled back into slumber a georgia kate decided to come snuggle and then the alarm. it seems like the hours of the morning fly by when you just want to sleep. so, now we are all showered and somewhat dressed. i say somewhat because i have learned, the hard way, to not put on nice clothes until just before i leave the house. my son, dylan, has been given the nickname of seagull. but even amid the fog of tiredness, i have accomplished a few things this morning. i have snuggled my georgia (she seems to need a lot of that these days), i have paid my bills - with my trusty tinkerbell pen, georgia has covered my left arm with stickers from her sticker book, and i am contemplating the removal of the barbie sticker she kindly left on the top of the desk. as eric reminded me the other day, i am lucky. lucky to be home, to be covered in stickers and spit up, to play pizza parlor with georgia a million times, to watch disney and snuggle my babies. three is turning out to be nice. a little crazy but can't we all use a little crazy at times?