i feel like my creativity has been snuffed out. i crave moments to create, to paint, to let my wings stretch and yet i am completely stifled by my surroundings. have you ever felt that? here i am, sounding completely ungrateful for my circumstances but in reality, i am overly grateful for what i have. just feeling stifled. i live in a beautiful for someone else rental home. it truly is more than i could have asked for in a rental, hard wood floors, tall ceilings, a play area, large kitchen but so much for someone besides myself. i love open spaces, light colors with contrasting shades, minimal lines and classic modern forms. i live in a home of beige. beige walls, beige doors, beige trim, dark slate floors with beige hard woods. every upper cabinet in the kitchen is fronted with glass, as well as the pantry door and the laundry door. and the chandelier in the dining area is grandiose, so much so that tommy bahama has the same fixture in their restaurant. the staircase has an iron rail that weaves in and out of scroll shaped lines. what would i give for a light colored anything! for a splash of unexpected lightness! for a glint of stainless steel, brass or even a nod to contrast! i have been straightening up for over an hour and i can't get past the idea this house has a negative effect on my ability to create. so, my straightening up hasn't amounted to much more than wandering and stacking. cheers house! today you have won! but someday, i dream of having a space that i create full of light, full of life!

miracles

i had the full intention to get up and run this morning. after the hustle of getting the kids ready and out the door and taking carpool to school my body told me to stop. i could feel it in my fingers, i could feel it in my toes i could feel it in my breath and the blinking of my eyes. so, i marched my legs up the stairs, laid down in my bed and thought about everything and nothing all at the same time. i am worn out, physically i'm sore from working out, emotionally i'm spent from tears that are on call to come as soon as needed, spiritually from the pouring out of my soul to my heavenly father and just plain tired from the roller coaster of faith and doubt and sorrow and joy that i have been on. last wednesday we got a call that eric's father was to be rushed into open heart surgery, the outcome of his 10 + hour surgery wasn't known. we were told to come as soon as we could and while on the 6 hour road trip the calls coming to our cell phones were full of doubts, tears and sorrow. i couldn't pray, i couldn't speak, i couldn't process and i don't even know where eric's head was. he just needed to get there. after around 4 hours of driving in the dark i finally found my prayer, i finally knew how to pray in this situation, i found the voice i could talk to my father in heaven with. i asked him for a small grace. a small grace that robert's son could be beside him once more. and then that was it. i didn't know what else to say. just passed midnight las vegas time i dropped eric at the hospital, not knowing any more than that, i turned the car towards my in-laws home to place my sleeping children into beds.
we made the drive thinking we were to plan a funeral the next day. there was blood loss, irreversible damage to organs, old repairs gone awry, too much time under sedation, too much time under a controlled chill, all this as the surgeon tried to repair his damaged heart. what was the outcome to be, what were we to think and hope for as the surgeon relayed the news to my mother in law? he is weak, he may not come back.
the next day came and went as we ticked off the imaginary boxes the surgeon gave us. he is trying to breathe over the ventilator, check, he is wiggling his toes, check, he is wiggling his fingers, check, his bleeding has been controlled, check. we made our way to his recovery room, level two, cardiac icu. he laid there swollen from the fluids that were being pumped into his body to save his life and we gathered and talked over him, held his hands, touched his feet, watched in heart ache as this man we all love struggled to come back to us.
we had a good day, he was responsive, he spoke in a raspy growl that the tube of the ventilator had left him, and told us of his love for us. he held georgia's hand, dylan's hand and andrew's hand and expressed his love for them. it was more than any of us had hoped for. a miracle, a beautiful moment of grace for those who weren't ready to say goodbye. so much hope and love filled room 223, so much more than we had thought possible just a few days before.
we had some bad days. bleeding again, loss of blood pressure, he was so tired, his lungs didn't want to fill with air, his kidneys are now failing. the family gathered and the boys stood around their father to administer a blessing through the priesthood power which all of them hold. a blessing of comfort, a small promise if we just kept our faith. what kind of faith would we need? the kind of faith to say goodbye? that it is his time to join his father in heaven? or is it the faith that brings power, that creates miracles? we all fell to our knees that night, unbeknownst to one another we silently poured our souls to our loving heavenly father. i couldn't leave that day, it was monday. robert still laid on his hospital bed now with the threat of pneumonia his head was engulfed in a mask which helped him breathe. his eyes fluttered and there was some response to voice but he was not there with us. he was fighting a battle of his own, to stay or to go. i laid with dylan that night and asked him if he could speak to the angels for me. he said yes. i asked him if he could ask them to ask heavenly father to help grandpa. he shook his head, i asked him where the angels were, he made a circle with his small hand in the air. the spirit of comfort i felt at that moment was a witness to me he was right.
tuesday met us with a phone call. he was rested, the dialysis had cleared his blood and body of toxins and he was breathing on his own. we rushed to get ready for the day, and packed up the car. i was taking the children back to las vegas, back to school, soccer, singing and a normal routine. we received a text from justin, he's sitting up, telling jokes! we got the kids in the car and up to the second floor as soon as we could. and there he was, sitting up and he smiled when he saw the children enter the room. we were quickly shooed out of the room as they needed to preform some tests and administer some medicine but the feeling in the waiting room was one of anticipation, even the kids felt it and were jumping around.

 eric and dylan leaving the hospital after visiting grandpa

eric and i at robert's bedside, photo taken by the 2yr old dylan

we have been given a miracle. we walked into the room and spent the next hour talking, listening, holding and crying together. i left from the hospital with tears of gratitude and love. those tears come freely now as we continue to pray with faith as robert stays at the hospital and continues to tick of more of those imaginary boxes the surgeon keeps giving us. by no means has this battle been won, but our prayers have been answered, we have been given more time with a father, grandfather and father in law whom we love dearly. eric is still in utah and has been spending most of the time at his father's side. even in this time of sadness, when we all have been frightened at the prospects that lay before us, we have been blessed. prayers have been heard. i come away from this week with renewed faith, with more trust in my heavenly father and the sure knowledge that the most important thing in this life isn't what most of us get distracted with, it is love and family and our relationships with each other. i couldn't possibly count the times i heard the phrase-i love you- this week, and that is pretty amazing.

floods

do you ever just need to break down? like go for a drive and let the tears fall? after i took georgia to her doctor's appointment yesterday i needed a moment. a moment to let it all come out without her seeing how disappointed and overwhelmed i was. so i left the house on an errand to get bread and sat in my car letting my emotions overcome me, working and sorting them out as they flooded my consciousness. not that it was a particularly bad day, not that it was particularly sad news from the doctor, just not what i wanted to hear. her poor little leg, trapped in that blasted cast for the past 8 weeks was still not completely healed. i held her shriveled up, alligator skinned smelly leg in my hands as the doctor was showing me her x-ray. you see, little ones are supposed to heal fast, she is a very slow healer. i suppose it was the drop in my already too full bucket that made everything spill out. i was in shock and lost in a moment of sadness so we left the office, i carried her to the orthopedic office downstairs and fitted her scrawny leg into a knee immobilizing brace and left for home. so much on my mind so many emotions to sort through and i had to leave. so i did. and i wound up in the parking lot of the bakery tears streaming down my cheeks working it all out. so much has hit us this last year, so much that when i think of it all i can't believe my family and i are still functioning. i feel weak, drained, and so very overwhelmed. i can't imagine how people who are struggling with much more than i am are still able to function. i am to the point where it is my little family and everything else is suffering somewhat. i suppose that is where my energy needs to be. to provide that safe haven for my children while the world and all of it's trials are knocking at the front door, the back door, the garage door and every window of the house. unbelievable to me is that after this breakdown i feel relief. i feel i can face whatever else may come. i feel like i can face what i am staring at right now. i held my little girl last night after we had soaked her leg in the bath for the first time in 8 weeks. she was so happy, so beautiful and so unchanged by her own trials of a broken leg and i felt the hope, and joy that was seeping from her soul into mine. our heavenly father loves us and is watching out for us and allows us beautiful moments in our turmoil that strengthen us so we can move past the minutes of our lives where we feel we need to break. i know this time will pass, that we will feel the peace we had before everything decided to change. i know this because i have faith. and now, i am going to find joy. we are promised joy, so, instead of letting my mind land on the trials i am going to look for the joy.

i love valentine's day. i love wearing red and pink, having pink heart pancakes, heart shaped sandwiches and dinner ala red. it's a holiday to celebrate love, how could it get any better! i love spoiling my kids and making them giggle as they open their lunch in front of school mates. you better believe everything in that lunch box was some shade of red with a big paper heart on top to remind them how much they are loved. andrew told me his friends couldn't figure out why his turkey sandwich was a big heart. how fun. so, pull someone close and give them loves, hugs and kisses and be generous with it all! there is no better way to spoil someone than with all of your heart!

oreo's for babies?

dear dylan, you are probably one of my most favorite people ever. period. you have such a way about you that people fall in love with you after only a few moments of knowing you. i am having such a wonderful time learning all about you and seeing you grow into this little person who has his own thoughts and who does his own thing. tonight you went beyond and had me giggling like crazy! so, as i was cleaning the kitchen from dinner i turned on your shows and you started singing and dancing and coming back into the kitchen to tell me all about it. super cute as you were, i finished wiping the counters and took a break to check up on some texts and emails that needed attention. i heard your show ending and your familiar footsteps coming to find me. when you finally found me in the office, you had a huge grin on your face and a mess of something all over your mouth. i asked what you had been into and you just shrugged, tilted your head to the right and with a big smile said "nono." your version of i don't know. so, i asked you to show me so i followed your hop/skip/run into the family room and you showed me. i was completely impressed! not only had you scouted the oreo snack box i bought at target today and hid in the pantry, but somehow you managed to rip into the side of it, pull out a package of cookies, open the cookies and yes, you ate all 6. with hardly a crumb on the floor i might add! i asked you if you had eaten an oreo and you flatly told me no! then i asked if you had some cookies. you smiled and batted your eyelashes and answered yes with an energetic nod of the head. you are so stinking cute! even though i wanted to scold you for eating six cookies i just couldn't, especially with how proud you were of the task you had preformed. good thing your dinner was mostly broccoli and strawberries! i love that i get to be your mother, i love that i get to be a part of your life! here's to oreo cookies!

thank you?

gratitude is a state of being. it is a place we reach when we think about our station in life, when we think of our health, our family, our friends. the knowledge we have of the gospel of jesus christ, the simple beauty of the world around us, and the giggle of our children all bring a grateful state. but, so much of the time we are found lacking gratitude. lacking in thought of being full of gratitude. forgetting to say thank you. we all have been there and when we realize this, it is time to hit our knees. it is a humbling time for us, to let our father in heaven know we haven't forgotten, we haven't lost that thank you word from our vocabulary. and then we look around us and our hearts are filled with love for what we have, what has been given us by our heavenly father, our family and our friends. take a moment today to tell someone how grateful you are for them, for what they do for you, how they make you feel and how they have changed your life. the most important part of celebrating christmas and thanksgiving, after all, is to count our blessings and turn around and bless those who may not have as much. so for those who may read this, know you were in my thoughts as i posted this note, my family, my friends and those who have come and gone from my life and have left life changing impressions. today, i am grateful.

november is here

i love days like today. a day where my time at home is far more than my time racing in the car. i spent the morning with dylan doing tasks around the house and now i feel so accomplished! my mountain of laundry has been folded and put away and i can now walk on my floor without stepping on whatever dylan was eating! a small storm moved through the desert today. cooled the air to a crisp and gave us enough rain to chill my children's bones! they are so used to mild weather that feeling fall sent them running for the house. i met them at the door after school and welcomed them and a couple of friends in with warm cookies (thanks to my nieces fund raiser). the afternoon unfolded a lot of giggling, ghost stories, head bandz and running around. i am so thankful for this neighborhood. it has made a stupid situation so much better. i truly appreciate our good friends and the chance we have to live by them now. it is quiet and peaceful now, the children are fed and in their pjs, the dryer is slowly humming, the dishes are put away and my 3 are sitting on the couch giggling at cartoons. the rain is still coming down, it is quite cozy and warm inside and my mrs. meyers orange clove candle has overtaken the house with the smell of fall. i love november. it's always the calm before the storm of christmas and new years and i love every minute of it.

mentally strong?

running is a mental sport. something i keep having to learn over and over and over again. don't get me wrong, i love to run. i love the solitude, i love hearing my feet hit the pavement, how my muscles have learned to bend and stretch just right and, after a good run how my legs ache all over. but, i accomplished something different in running this weekend, something as difficult mentally as it was physically. well, maybe just more mentally. there i was, staring down this never ending dirt road in the breaking dawn time frame where everything is hazy and the temperature drops. this road was dusty and slippery and with my sleep deprived body i started with one foot in front of the other. one mile down. "tap me out" i yelled to my husband as i caught up to the now gray denali. "keep going! you're doing great!" not really, i grumbled and took a sip of water. the truck took off and my heavy legs were not easing into my familiar gait. i played catch up with the truck again, this time throwing my headlamp and vest inside to my fellow team mates. i slowed to a walk to rinse the dust from my mouth and to have a drink. i don't know how i'm going to do this. this is too hard. my legs are tired i am tired and i want to stop. i adjusted my running shirt over my cold fingers and started to run again. another mile down, i was passed this time, luckily by a man with a sponsor. i saw the truck again... if i could only make it there. i was met by a team mate, water and support. after rinsing my mouth i started the running. again my gait was not there. my legs were still so heavy and i just kept thinking one foot in front of the other. another mile and another team mate to reach. i didn't want to keep going. i threw my water belt into the car, placed a jelly belly of caffeine on my tongue and took off again. i couldn't give up but how could i keep this up. i said a prayer. i wanted to finish so badly. i didn't want to let my friends and team members down. one foot in front of the other. girl was walking, i actually passed someone? another mile and another team mate to give me water and words of support. i can do this right? my body is strong. i am strong. this is an amazing song on my play list. i start singing out loud and letting my feet hit to the beat of the music. "you are over half way done!" the dusty black denali yelled at me. really? maybe i can do this. maybe i will do this after all. i could see the flashing blue post in the distance. just over one and a half miles left. i waved my support on and said meet me at the finish. my gait picked up. the relentless hill i was climbing gave way to a burst of down hill speed and i didn't stop. my prayer was heard, the caffeine fed my tired legs and out of pure desire my body pushed me on. i felt like a million angels were behind me, excited to cross and make my goal with me. i could no longer feel my legs. that beautiful sensation of a sprint took over and i took off onto a smaller trail. i could hear the crowd at the exchange and i was smelling food. i could have done with out that. i rounded the last bend, up this hill was all i could think. i made it up the hill, turned and with my next team member in sight i started removing my bracelet and number. i had made it. i worked through the biggest mental block i have had and i came out in a dead sprint. my brother in law took the bracelet from me and placed the number around his waist. i was so happy i even kissed his cheek! thanks! i breathlessly said to him and then he was off. just like that, i was done. i wanted to cry and throw up all at the same time but instead i started walking to the truck to support on the rest of my team.

i sat in relief society the next day, listening to a lesson on goals, desire and help from a father in heaven and started to tear up. events from this leg of my race took on an all too familiar pattern. a pattern we know as life. isn't it always right before we are to give up, when things are just too overwhelming, we turn to our father in heaven in prayer and ask for guidance and strength? i knew i could run, that wasn't the question i had, it was if my mind would let me. i had done all i could to work through my mental wall only to find it wasn't enough and i prayed that i would be able to reach my goal. i prayed in my state of weakness and exhaustion and with that prayer i was given answers to so much more than just finishing the race. my legs took over and with the words of support from my team in my head i finished strong. that's the way it is, isn't it. we are beaten down by this world every day. things come at us that we didn't know we could overcome and yet we do. and all this time we are surrounded by people we love and who love us and support our every move. church members, family and friends are all there, along side of us in the support vehicle to hand us water and jelly bellies and words of encouragement. and, just when their words are dying down and we are left alone is when we turn to our loving heavenly father who will always give us the strength to reach our desires and goals in this world. a beautiful lesson learned, i just wish i could have learned it with a little less mileage and a little less elevation gain.

first day of school. wow. can't believe we are here already. and i can't believe i'm done with it already! maybe i liked my 9am wake up call from dylan, maybe i enjoyed staying up watching movies with the kiddos and maybe i'm just annoyed with my now rigid schedule! oh, well, i suppose i will get used to the early mornings and homework again. this year has been a little different and the kids have had some serious adjusting to do. we decided to pull the children from private school (sigh) and main stream them into public. i haven't been too excited about this change but within a year or so the money we will have saved will open up many more opportunities for us, hence the change. eric and i have been so impressed with the way andrew and georgia have been taking all this change in stride. they come home happy, they leave happy but, today is thursday and it all kind of hit the fan. eric and i spent a good 2 hours listening to one child at a time melt down tonight and then for about 45 minutes all whining and crying at the same time. it was awesome. couldn't have had a better night. i decided dinner needed to happen fast and put my somewhat thawed chicken back into the freezer, cut up some fruit and made breakfast for dinner, shuffled the crazys up stairs to pajamas, teeth, stories and beds before 8. and even dylan decided he couldn't fight the sandman any longer and fell asleep on my lap about 8:30. it is now peaceful in the house and i have tidied up the toys, wiped down the maple syrup sticky table and the dishwasher is humming it's song. i am exhausted and so the boxes to be packed will happen tomorrow. good night.

i don't know where my time is going. hours seem to drag into days and those into weeks and all of the sudden i find myself in a new month. the summer has been busy. i have hardly had any time to decompress with my kids but every now and again i get a moment where i catch myself listening to georgia and dylan sing playing, andrew and georgia playing pretend or all three of them playing toys in the office and i have to smile. these moments are rare and precious. i wish i could save them forever. i often want to peek in and watch them but i know i would interrupt and start the whole mommy i need... or mommy andrew's doing... you know that game? so i stand on the outside, content to listen in on their fun. it's a good place to be.

faith

sometimes life comes at you full force. sometimes you have to deal with a lot and you get a little bit lost. sometimes you spend more time in the car with your children than at home with them. sometimes you need to turn the radio down and listen to an 8 year old's thoughts on everything. sometimes you have to clean up throw up and sometimes poop. sometimes you have to sit in the emergency room waiting for tests to let you know your baby is going to be just fine. sometimes you are faced with a whole lot and all you can do is the laundry and force yourself to breathe. sometimes the most amazing thoughts come to your head when you are mopping up a weeks worth of spilled who knows what under the high chair. sometimes you get yelled at by a four year old and all you want to do is pick her up and yell and scream and cry with her. but, you can't. because you are the mom. and because you are the mom it all seems to be your fault. and that's when i look at a the quote i got at church the last time i was able to sit through part of a meeting. turn your fear into faith. "choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen and choose faith over pessimism." bishop richard c. edgley. it sounds a lot easier to accomplish than it is in real life. but that has been my goal this month. turn my fears and my stresses and my worries into faith. it sometimes is the only thing we have in our grasp. thank heaven.

its over, sigh

i walked into my spooky front entry, turned off my battery powered candles in my candelabras and looked at all of my halloweened house. the pumpkin glowing, the crow watching the children eat their candy, the skulls looking on so ghoulishly, the orange candles and black spiders sitting on my grandmother's buffet. oh, how i love a good halloween and yes, my friends, this was a good one. yummy homemade soups. so many friends and great family. yummy treats. perfect temperature for a sweatshirt and flip flops. dancing tinkerbell. sleepy owl. crazy ninja. and the contentment of having pulled off another fiesta without a hitch. too bad we have to wait so long for halloween. have a spooky night.

overwhelmed? understatement!

usually i feel behind in tasks around the house. i tend to concentrate on the more important things like kissing dylan, watching georgia "do" stuff and running andrew all over town to soccer and basketball. and, i let things fall by the wayside. lets just say i usually feel like i'm treading water for an analogy. my head's above the water but at any time i could go under! then came september, october, four birthdays and now a baptism. i haven't seen the floor in my closet for some time now, due to laundry. i call our spare bedroom my "hoarding" room because it is the place where i put things so i can "do it later." and, guess what. it's later. i am overwhelmed and now i've plunged under the water and i'm not sure where to start or when i'm going to get another breath. granted, we did have the carpets cleaned and that would explain the dora kitchen in my bathtub and the toy baskets in my closet but really, the problem is much deeper than that! so this weekend i'm taking on the insurmountable task of the hoarding room, the toy baskets and, gulp, the laundry. good thing soccer and bball have been cancelled saturday and, thank heaven for eric who entertained the children while i folded my closet floor worth of laundry! only 3 more loads! oh, wait, i am starting to feel that breath of air. hopefully, if my laundry doesn't kill me, i'll be back in the familiar treading water stage of my life soon enough.

is it fall?

i am finding myself day dreaming about fall. cool, crisp mornings, trips up the canyon to eat apple raisin and walnut oatmeal, crunching leaves underfoot and sitting in the warm sun watching leaves trickle down from the trees. big billowing clouds with afternoon showers and the faint smell of fireplace smoke in the air. i have a new pair of boots i have been needing to wear. sweaters that are begging to be dusted off and worn and scarves aching to get out. but alas, my body is sore from a workout yesterday morning where i proceeded to sweat like a man in a tank top and shorts. and it was 7am. not conducive to my day dreaming.

happy birthday baby d!

a year ago i was in a hospital bed so very very tired, listening to beeps and chatter from the hallway and the breathing of a new baby boy. i remember that night so clearly as if it was last night. i laid in bed alone with my sweet boy next to me. i remember the tears coming and not being able to control them. overwhelmed with joy, relief, exhaustion, hormones and missing my other two. i promised myself that i would be a better mom, that i would look after my family better. i told my father in heaven i was thankful for my life, for my blessings and for the sweet babies he has sent me. i snuggled that little person as much as i could and held him so close, those hours are so fleeting and i needed to soak in every second. i still feel that way, that i need to soak in every second with my dylan. he is so amazing. he is calm, content and an absolute joy to have around. the kids love him and i just want to eat him up all the time! i wanted to do something special for him on his special day but i couldn't decide what "special" meant to a one year old. what we ended up doing kind of just fell into my lap and it was "special." i decided on a walk around the loop. he loves to be outside and to recline in his stroller. he sucks his binki and loves on his soft blankie and every now and then looks up at me through the small window in the stroller shade and gives me his big goofy toothy grin. i was about half way into my walk when i heard my name. my trainer was running with some other people we train with and they had recognized me. we ran to the park together and they invited me to join a yoga class they were doing. i looked down at my sleeping boy and decided to join in. a little while into the warm up, d woke up and decided he wanted to practice his down dog as well. i rolled out a mat next to mine, handed him my phone and car keys and we had a great time. he would roll under me when i was up and then coming down on top of him he would giggle and laugh. he ate some grass and got a little wet from the ground but all in all it was a fantastic time. his favorite moment was when i was in childs pose and he "got" me. full grabbing of my hair and loving on my face. the world was in perfect alignment, once again, and i felt so much peace and love and recognition of my blessings. this little boy has been such a blessing. and as georgia would say, i love him too much! (instead of so much!) and once again i find myself promising to be a better mom, cherishing the time i have with my children and thanking my heavenly father for my blessings. thank you dylan for sharing today with me, for accepting me as your mother and for blessing our family with you! you are a special boy and i can't wait to see what this next year brings!

lemonade, cookies and shoes

im in love with my kids. well, at least at this moment! they are tucked in bed, breathing deeply, safe under their light weight blankets. each of them brings such a different personality to our family. crazy, crazier and just plain edible. and probably in that order. i took them all to the mall yesterday. i know, who's the crazy one? well, they come by it honestly, i guess. but, anyway, as you can imagine things only went swimmingly for about five minutes and then all you fill in the blank broke loose and i had strollers being pushed into displays, necklaces being tried on and a baby who was crying because his teeth decided to come in this week. needless to say i was stressed! but, i needed my kids there. i tried to buy them shoes to no avail and then don't get me on the pants i tried to buy. these kids have had major growth spurts this summer and i've got my sizes all wrong. so, after the shoe department, pants trying on and a salesperson who was a little confused about what she was doing, i finally looked at andrew (who was riding the stroller into the cashiers station at this point) and exasperatedly stated you're giving me hives! apparently this was hilarious and started andrew in a giggle. georgia heard the commotion and had to stop trying on hair bows to come see what was so funny and couldn't figure out what hives were but still started giggling and then at that minute i realized it was going to be ok and started giggling too. baby crying and all. so we walked over to the cafe for lunch where we indulged in the yummiest cookies and lemonade which pleased the punch out of my little ones! as we were wrapping it up, a woman from the table next to me caught my eye and was clearly holding in a chuckle. yes, just what i needed, more people to watch my small circus. she commented on my kids and shared with me that her third put her over the edge. i was a little taken aback by her comment. it was made with such an understanding, i've been there tone, i couldn't have taken offense to it but, it made me think. here i was, braving the insanity of shopping with children, trying to get them to try on shoes, eat and stop goofing around all the while i forgot to breathe, to take it in and realize what a funny time we were having. im sure the woman at the next table had a story to tell that evening to her dinner partner about the crazy stressed out young mother with three kids, a stroller, seven shopping bags, a diaper bag the size of texas and two helium balloons hermetically sealed to the handle of said stroller. well, all's well that ends well! and with the remains of chocolate chips on our lips we headed towards the elevator just like a parade, balloons and all. so, how do you end such a lovely outing? well you stop by dads office where you pillage his change collection and buy orange fanta because, apparently, lemonade and cookies were not quite enough to fill the sugar quota for the day!

it seems when there is so much going on there is nothing to write about. my creative side has fallen asleep. or melted. whatever would be happening in 111 degree weather. seriously. we were gone for the whole month of june, literally. i spent some quality time in so cal on the beach, i watched my kids play on the beach and remembered how my sister fed me sand when i was dylans age and how no one needs to help him, i celebrated eric's birthday and hit nordstrom with him, i watched jealously has the husband ran the wasatch back, i looked on helpless as a helicopter flew my father in law to safety, i loved on my babies as much as i could, i got thrown up on, i took a stay cation to lake las vegas, i caught a nasty summer cold, and then i finally came home to basketball camp, swim lessons, ballet and tap classes, basketball team practices and spanish camp. whoever said summer was relaxing? i remember being sooo bored during summer vacation. so far we haven't had a spare minute to be bored! i guess things could be worse... i could be somewhere very very cold. oh, and andrew got a mohawk from his hairdresser today. got to take a picture, it reminds me of his 'do when he was a baby!

sand in my ears

today i took andrew to a follow up appointment at the ent doctor. andrew indeed has a broken nose, his septum is crooked but nothing to worry about and apparently he has gravel in his ears. hmm. maybe that's why he doesn't hear me until i am yelling? probably not. he gained his gravel this passed weekend at the beach. poor kid took a rough spill in the surf. funny though, he kept telling me there was sand in his ears. maybe i should have listened? maybe i have gravel in my ears too?! anyway, we had a good laugh about him having his ears full of sand and then he looked at me and quite worried asked me how it was going to come out. the good doctor stepped in and reminded him that it would work its way out eventually and to not stick anything in his ears to fish it out. thanks doctor, with this kid you don't know what would happen! random story, i know, i just got a kick out of it!

pretty little boy

at least once every time i am out and about with dylan he is mistaken for a little girl. nope, doesn't matter that his blanket has blue spots or that his binki has dinosaurs on it, people think he is just too pretty to be a stinky little boy! maybe it's the lash extensions we put on him (the kid has some serious lashes!) maybe its the mohawk he was born with that has turned into a nice comb - over or maybe its his mesmerizing eyes which can't decide what color to be (his left is more gray, his right is more blue!) but, he is quite a looker and i'm ok with onlookers commenting on what a pretty baby i have! with this back ground, dylans nana day has threatened to dress him up in a pink ruffly something and tie his hair with a pink hair bow. so, nana day, this picture is for you! courtesy of georgia's collection of hair bows! oh, and don't tell the husband, he thinks i'm giving dylan a complex!

lovely lips

today georgia earned a prize from the treasure box at ms. karens preschool. bet you can't guess what it was! and, thanks to georgia's persistent nature, i got in on the action as well! i love this little girl!